Daddy Daycare

When I sit down and think about it, I haven’t spent more than a few hours alone with Finley since I took my paternity leave when she was three months old. At that time, she slept most of the day and drank bottled momma’s milk. Oh, how times have changed.

Today was President’s Day. For those of us not in the banking or postal industry, it really doesn’t mean more than a few less cars in the commute. But for most schools, including our daycare, it means a day off. Of course, when your child can barely walk, you can’t just leave them at home while you head to work. No, Daddy took the day off from work to take care of the little Miss. It was more like Memorial Day, though, because it made me remember why we pay for daycare.

There was nothing too terribly bad that happened, I’m just a bit wiped. It makes me appreciate everything the daycare folks do for us and it reinforces my appreciation for everything Heather does.

Here are just a few changes from the last time I spent a full day with the munchkin, back in June:

• In June, I gave her bottles every few hours. Now, she gets a bottle when she wakes up and a “big person” breakfast a few hours later.
• In June, she would sometimes spill a bit while drinking her bottle and it was really nothing more than a quick wipe with a cloth. Now, it all depends on if she decides to throw or wear or eat the pieces of pancake and peaches on her high chair tray. 9 times out of 10 there is a damp washcloth and a DustBuster® at the end of the meal.
• In June, the diaper that was changed was either slightly soaked and/or had a small and mostly harmless poo poo in it. Now, the diaper has so much liquid it almost weighs as much as she does and the poo poo is not so small and not nearly as harmless.
• In June, playing consisted of laying her on her back and jiggling small toys in front of her. Now, I’m lying on my back while she hops on pop then rolls off and crawls to the next toy which may or may not (but more than likely) make lots of noise. Then she’s up and pushing one of her cars into one of the walls or banging on the coffee table with some blunt object.
• In June, our biggest concern was that she didn’t roll over when she slept. Now, we just want her to go to sleep in any position that will help her do that. Now, our biggest concern is keeping her away from the fireplace, heater and any other area that we constantly say “no” about but she constantly has to explore.
• In June, she was thinking about rolling, but not too far. Now, she’s thinking about walking and we have to close the bedroom doors and have a gate into the kitchen.
• In June, she could make a couple of squealing noises. Now, she’s yelling “da da” and “ma ma!” Every once in a while “ba ba” comes into the picture.

I guess over the past seven months or so, Finley hasn’t been the only one to change. It’s hard for Heather and I not to evolve as our little girl does. The morning ritual has a new wrinkle since those early days. For a little while I was waking up with the girls and feeding the little one while the big one got ready for work. Now, the little one can hold her own bottle and I’m really just there to supervise.

And that’s what’s happening. For good or for bad, every little step towards independence that she takes is a step away from needing us – the very meaning of independence.

Now, I know that she’ll rely on us for quite some time, but you can already tell how badly she wants to do things herself. I know that in the not-so-distant future, there will be things I will teach her. And I also know, she’ll eventually tell me she can do them herself. Thinking about that stings a bit, but in reality it’s a good thing. It’s a great thing.

As much as I always want to be there for her, knowing she can do all those things by herself will be the best gift she can give me.

Someday, Finley will be a strong, independent woman. But that someday can wait. Right now, I like Daddy Daycare and the look in her eye when she reaches out for me to help her out of her crib.

In June, I couldn’t wait to see her in six months. Now, I can’t wait to see her tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.