A Love Supreme

In the summer of 1991, I was finishing up some college elective courses and took a Jazz history class from a fantastic instructor, Dr. Greg Yasinitsky. It wasn’t just a look at how jazz began and who the notable musicians were. It was a lesson in what jazz music was, is and can be. In every class, Yazz would take out his tenor sax and explain what he was talking about. He would introduce us to things about music we never knew or could understand without seeing and hearing him play his point. The key to jazz, he explained, was, and is, improvisation. Improvisation is not as easy to explain as you would think. Which is why he always had his sax. It’s funny to think that the things he taught us would apply to life… Especially life with a one-year old.

This past week, my Oklahoma cousins came to town. Well, a small pack of them came to town, anyway. And as our family always does when the relatives come to visit, we rallied around a few dinners out and a couple of days of playing tour guide. I volunteered for a day trip to the zoo and figured Finley could join her cousins in the animal kingdom. It really never hit me until about halfway through the day, what I had offered to do. You see, since Heather had to work that day, I was going to be the sole parent on an all-day outing, far from the friendly confines of home.

Now, I have had several daddy days on my own in the past year, but I never really left the house and certainly not for more than a few hours. This time, I was to be counted on not only for the diaper changes but for everything else that goes along with keeping a 12-month old happy for a full day. Heck, even the daycare people have more than one person in the room!

But I didn’t panic. Because life with a kid, when done right, can be like playing good jazz. You see, the key to the Dickey Trio is a solid rhythm section. It all starts with a strong drummer… Someone who lays down the beat and keeps it steady. That’s Heather. I’m also in the rhythm section, but I’m the bass player. I just follow her lead – I might take a few liberties and go off for a bit, but I always come back to the beat she’s laid down.

That makes Finley the tenor sax – the soloist – at least for now. She’s always going off in another direction, wailing about this and that and it’s up to us to keep her back in the groove.

On this day, I knew I was in good hands, because my drummer had laid down the beat by setting me up with a fully prepared diaper bag and a second bag with lunch, dinner and all the formula I would need. It would be up to me to keep it all flowing, but I had a solid backing.

I also knew that I had to be ready to improvise at any moment. In jazz and in life that’s always a good thing to have in your back pocket and I like to think I can adapt to any situation. I’m not saying I’m a cross between John Coltrane and MacGyver, but if I need to make things happen, I can find a way.

The day started off in good shape. In truth, Finley is still a bit young to really get anything out of the zoo – she was more interested in watching the younger humans than the animals behind the glass. A few hours into the morning and I started seeing signs that she was getting a bit antsy and even a little hungry. Or at least, that’s what I read from her sounds and body movements. As I look back, it’s interesting that I could read her body language and figure things out. I couldn’t have done that a year ago.

So, around noon I swept her into a cafeteria and set up her lunch, which included diced carrots and pears. As I sat down to serve her, I realized I had nowhere to drain the pears without leaving her and running to the bathroom. So, it was time to improvise. I had noticed a bit earlier that her sippee cup was running low… Why not drain the pear juice into the sippee cup and fill the rest with water? It may not be the newest trick in the book, but for me and for that moment, it was daddy improvisation at work.

After a nice lunch and a quick cleanup, we were back on the animal trail. As I sat her down in her stroller I saw a look in her eye that said she might be ready to crash, so out of instinct I lowered the back of her seat and within five minutes we had a sleeping Finderella. Again, not rocket scientist work there, but somehow, somewhere I picked up her lead and guided her into a nice sleep solo that lasted a few hours. Of course, not everything went smoothly, but not every song is perfect… especially the live ones.

Nearly twenty years ago, Yazz explained the importance of making a song your own and exploring the music through improvisation. But, he also emphasized that you have to practice and you have to have a good group. After a few days on my own with Finley, I may have been exhausted, but I also realized that our little trio works really well together. We’ll have to see about adding another soloist in a couple of years. Until then, we’ll keep working on our own version of “A Love Supreme.”