100

This is officially the 100^th entry into the Baby Blog. And to celebrate, I’ve decided to rack my brain and come up with 100 things I have learned about fatherhood. So here’s the list, in no particular order Enjoy! 

1. Talking into Heather’s belly during pregnancy was oddly comfortable.
   
2. Pregnancies are 10 months long, not nine like the liberal media will have you believe!
3. Any pain I have had in no way compares to labor pain.
4. Sleep deprivation makes new mamas CRAZY.
5. I’m so glad I don’t ever have to nurse.
6. I’m not a big fan of the flavor of formula.
7. Bouncy chairs, baby swings, and cradles are life savers.
8. It’s good to have infant gas drops available. At all times.
9. Keeping the diaper bag freshly stocked is a must.
10. When you visit the relatives, you’re just the guy that brought the baby.
11. Diapers work, especially if you remember to put them on.
12. Daycare is worth the price of admission.
13. …except for the sharing of colds.
14. I could get used to this “Father’s Day” thing.
15. I wish there was a way I could take the immunization shots for her.
16. Picking up from daycare is better than dropping off.
17. Finley likes to wake me up on the weekends. (I like it, too)
18. Kissing boo boos is better than putting on bandaids.
19. Cranky baby = cranky momma
20. Sleeping in is not an option.
    
21. I’m not the center of the universe, anymore.
22. Pigtails are momma’s job.
23. Picking out clothes is momma’s job.
24. Onsies go on BEFORE pants go on.
25. Mommy is always right.
26. Even at 5am, rocking my daughter to sleep in my arms is worth waking up for.
27. Poop happens.
28. Drool happens.
29. Spills happen.
30. Cleaning up poop and drool and spills happens.
31. Baby kisses are especially wet. But that’s okay.
32. I could be the fifth Wiggle.
33. All the books I loved as a kid are still great.
34. Kids toys are way better now than when I was a kid.
35. And they eat up WAY more batteries.
36. I don’t remember as many words to kids songs I as I thought I did.
37. Those kids songs can get stuck in your head all day.
38. I have learned the time-honored dad tradition of properly loading the car.
39. I have rediscovered the unlimited possibilities of playing with a cardboard box.
40. NEVER lose the bunny… or the blankie.
    
41. I could go pro as a baby bottle washer.
42. I never knew I had swaddling skills.
43. As much as I love my wife and daughter, alone time is very important.
44. As much as I love being alone, it’s hard to be away from my girls.
45. All the time I spent mimicking cartoon voices is paying off.
46. I may not know a second language, but I can speak toddler fairly well.
47. Watching a small person take their first steps was much more exciting than I expected.
48. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing the word “Daddy.”
49. There’s a lot more on TV for kids than there used to be.
50. Put the expensive or important stuff up high.
51. I tend to find more cheerios than change in the couch cushions.
52. Daddies make good horsies for daughters.
53. Baby wipes are good for parents, too.
54. It’s okay to stand in her room for ten minutes just to watch her sleep.
55. You can never have enough Kleenex.
56. Nap times are not just for the kids.
57. It’s smart to always have a binky ready.
58. The wheels on the bus DO go round and round.
59. There are volume controls on toys for a reason.
60. Bath bubbles are clear. All other bubbles mean it’s time to get out.
    
61. You’re doomed when they learn to say “again.”
62. Pillows STILL make great forts.
63. No matter how much I clean, the crumbs in the back seat of my car will keep appearing.
64. Kids are dirt magnets.
65. Sugar is kid crack.
66. It’s smart to invest in night-time diapers.
67. It’s all about negotiation.
68. Dancing is just plain fun. Rhythm comes later.
69. Being the first person she sees in the morning is the best.
70. Laundry baskets make great sleds.
71. Velcro is way better than shoelaces.
72. Chuck E. Cheese is evil. Pure evil.
73. “No” means No. Except sometimes when she starts crying and it means “Alright. Here. Stop crying.”
74. Music soothes the savage baby.
75. Do your best to go with the flow. And have extra wipes to soak up the flow, too.
76. Sesame Street is still a great show.
77. I know much more about the Disney Princesses than I probably should.
78. Sippy cups and kid plates go in the upper rack of the dishwasher.
79. I could kiss her cheeks all day.
80. Before you toss them in the air, make sure you know how high the ceiling is.
81. Right now, you’re just second fiddle to the momma.
82. Tea parties are in my future.
83. A good nap makes for a good rest of the day.
84. I am not that fond of the color pink.
85. I’m beginning to dislike boys.
86. Apparently songs can never be sung enough.
87. …and books can never be read enough.
88. She’ll never do the amazing things when you ask her to or when everyone is watching.
89. …or when the video camera is rolling.
90. I haven’t lost as much hair as I thought I would.
91. Tights go on BEFORE the bloomers.
92. Don’t take anything away unless you have plans to replace it.
93. Babysitters are worth the money. Even at $10 an hour!
94. Elmo isn’t as annoying as he used to be.
95. I’m much better at coloring within the lines than she is.
96. I like coming home and finding her waiting for me.
97. Putting her shoes on while she’s wriggling in my arms is an art.
98. A hidden TV remote is a safe TV remote.
99. I’m lucky Heather is here to teach me these things.
100. There’s nothing better than the sound of Finley’s laughter.