She Drives Me Crazy

I’ve decided that two year olds are insane.

 I don’t mean it in a bad way… I just think that they must have so much going on in those little brains that sometimes they just can’t process it all normally.  But then again, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the one going crazy. Because it seems like that at times, everything that worked and made her happy yesterday is making her a raving lunatic today.

Case in point… this morning. For the past week or so, Heather has been getting up and out of the house to go to school before Finley and I wake up. I usually get up a few minutes ahead of the munchkin and we have a little routine. She asks where Momma is, I explain she’s at school. She thinks about it for a moment, decides that’s okay with her and I pick her up and get her dressed. Pretty good routine. Nothing too difficult. Until today.

Today, I walk into her bedroom to find our little Houdini halfway out of her pajamas and in a foul mood. That should have been sign number one. Sign number two was that she wasn’t interested in where Momma was. She obviously had some ulterior motive on her mind. One that I was about to discover once I put her on the changing table.

For some reason, Finley decided that on this morning, she didn’t want to wear a diaper. And not just a diaper. She wanted nothing to do with clothes, either. And of course, to make me aware of this fact, she decided she wouldn’t just tell me… No. She decided to wriggle and writhe and fight and scream and cry anytime I came close to putting anything on. I still have no idea why.

So, I did my best to get her dressed. What is usually a fairly simple and cooperative affair turned into a battle royale, worthy of WWE pay-per-view standards. I had size and strength on my side, but she had elusiveness and scrappiness on hers. In the end, power won out, but not before she managed to have a complete and utter breakdown and fit that took her several minutes to recover from. I was exhausted, too!

Of course, just a few minutes after that, she was as happy as can be, ready to go to school and inflict her brand of craziness on the people we pay to deal with it. You can bet that tomorrow morning, I’ll be a little more aware of to expect from my bipolar baby. Which brings me to tonight. If this morning wasn’t a preview of what to expect in the teen years, then tonight was most definitely a glimpse of what we can expect in about 14 years.

For Easter this year, Finley’s Nana (Heather’s mom) gave our little princess a car. Okay, so technically it’s supposed to be a bus and it’s not for the highway, but it’s a car. A four-wheeled, self-powered vehicle to transport our kid. I have to say that at least it runs on batteries and not gas, so we’re saving the planet, anyway.

But to our amazement, our little Danica Patrick just hopped right in and zoomed around the condo without much damage to the furniture. I’m sure she knows a little about steering from tricycles and such, but to be able to control acceleration AND steering at the same time was pretty impressive. Take a look, below.

The next thing is to figure out how long it will take her to learn how to drive her fake little car while talking on her fake cell phone. On the bright side, maybe if she gets good at this, she’ll actually have a fairly easy time getting her real driver’s license. THAT I can wait 14 years for.

In the meantime, I’ll do my best to keep the attitude from this morning from mixing with the driving of this evening. I’m not sure I want to see mini road rage in my living room.