Independence

The past few weeks have been pretty good for a small girl named Finley.

We spent a few days at Lake Chelan, where she discovered the fun of boating and became a more confident swimmer. She got to play with her Nana and auntie and cousins and loved every bit of it.

Then the following weekend, we took a trip to “The Great Wolf Lodge.” This is a giant hotel, with an even more giant indoor water park, complete with restaurants, shopping, and even a Starbucks for Momma. It’s a pretty great setup and we spent most of our wet time in the toddler play area, watching Finley enjoy and adapt to the toys and apparatus.

She’s always been a fairly brave kid. I mentioned, some time ago, about my desire to have her be my eventual rollercoaster partner, since Heather won’t have any part of it. So, extra time on swings and tosses in the air at home have been a staple of her play routine as early as I could get away with it. But, there are certain situations – especially with people around – where Finley tends to get a bit shy before she tries out something new or tricky.

So when it was time to get her to climb up the stairs to the little toddler water slide, she was a bit apprehensive and one of us had to help her up and really talk her into zipping down and splashing into the foot of water below. But – as with anything – the more she got used to it, the easier it was for her to do it on her own.

In fact, she got to the point where she was very vocal about how she didn’t want us to help her do any of it. This is something we’ve been noticing for a little while. When she wants to do something by herself, Finley is fiercely independent. Unfortunately, in some situations, she’s not as agile or dexterous as she thinks she is and her moment of independence becomes very frustrating.

Now it’s pretty normal for a two year old to get a little frustrated when she can’t quite get a shoe on or get a toy to work the way she wants it. What’s hard for us is that she won’t even let us help her when she gets in these situations. It’s almost like our offer to help makes her even more upset.

The key in these situations is to try to distract her with another activity or else you’ll be battling a writhing, screaming beast when you try to get that shoe on the correct way. Needless to say, she’s a very stubborn little girl. We won’t say who she gets it from.

Lately, we’ve been noticing that it’s not just the basic things she’s becoming picky or independent about. Even the usual routine is beginning to change. And the Daddy is getting the shaft.

You see, she has become such a Momma’s girl that she rarely wants me to do anything with her or for her. Changing a pull-up, “No. Momma do it.” Reading books at nighttime, “No. Momma do it.” Now that I think about it, maybe Momma is getting the raw deal. I mean, she doesn’t want me to change her pants, feed her, or even put her to bed. Momma gets to do all of it. Of course, being the stubborn one, Heather won’t let that go on too long. But for now, I’m only needed when Momma won’t let her have something. Apparently she thinks I’m the one who will help her out. Unfortunately for her, I’m on the Momma’s side and am just here to reinforce the law Heather has laid down.

The scary thing is that this is probably just the beginning. It stars with wanting to put on her own shoes and will eventually become taking the car by herself and going on a trip with friends. We can’t say “no” to everything. But we can be stubborn, in a loving way.

I’m all for doing things on your own, but to her dismay, she’ll find out that we love her so much, we want her to be safe. And the tears will flow and the doors will slam. And it will be very hard to have her mad at me. I’ll get over it. Because I’d rather her be mad at me than in some sort of trouble or seriously hurt.

But until then, I’ll offer my help even though she doesn’t want it. And I’ll probably never stop offering. Okay, so maybe I am a bit stubborn.