Cold Turkey

It’s a sad state of affairs in America. Hundreds of thousands of kids are addicted. 

They get hooked at an early age and have trouble shaking their jones. And although it’s not really a sickness, many parents could argue that trying to shake this dependence may be one of the hardest things their kids can do.

Of course, I’m talking about the dreaded pacifier. Other street terms include “binky,” “soother,” and “nu-nu.” No matter what you call it, more than likely, it is a big part of you and your child’s world. And whether you like it or not, the time will come for that unpleasant binky intervention.

Sure, there are kids out there who never get or take the pacifier – I was a binky-free kid myself. Then again I was born in the Autumn of Love in October 1967, so I’ve always leaned a little toward the counter culture – But in most cases, including ours, the binky not only helps keep the kid soothed, but the parents as well.

It’s much too easy to get used to the rubber/plastic stoppers. Because that’s partly what they are. Whether you are in the car, in the store or on a plane, when the wail or cry starts flowing out of the mouth of the babe, you can just plug the drain and keep the sound in… most of the time, anyway.

And it’s hard to argue their importance as a soporific (That’s a big word I found that means sleep inducing). We could always count on the munchkin falling asleep fairly quickly when the pacifier was in place.

But there comes a time when you have to set aside old habits. Unfortunately for pacifier addicts there is no 12-step program, no Binky Ford Clinic, no gum, and certainly no patch to help. There really is no way to wean a little one off the soother. It has to be cold turkey, complete with withdrawal symptoms. You can expect anxiety, cravings, even fits of anger.

We thought about all of this before we made the big move to lose the pacifier. And after a few pieces of advice from friends and family, we decided the best way to enter into this cease-binky agreement, was under a mutual accord. There’s no point in just suddenly not giving her the pacifier. At her age and her level of understanding, we have to make sure she understands what’s going on. That on some level, she is helping make that decision.

For the record, we’ve slowly been moving this direction for some time. Several months ago, we made a point to only let her have the binky at bed time. So, she’s been used to not having it during the day (except nap time) for a while. It was just getting over that last hurdle that was going to be tough.

So this past Saturday, while she had a play date with Auntie Gina’s twins, Finley “gave” her binky to little Natalee. We had been explaining to Finley that Natalee is a baby and that only babies have binkies. And since Finley was a big girl now, she could give her binky to Natalee. Heather oversaw the actual transaction and Finley DID relinquish her pacifier albeit a bit grudgingly. That was the easy part.

That night as we readied the girl for bed, the inevitable question of “binky?” arose. We had to remind her that she gave it away and how nice she was and what a big girl she was. The initial crying in bed didn’t last as long as I thought it would. She actually conked out in about the usual time frame. And even though she woke up a few times in the night without her friend there to pop back in, I thought that overall it was a good night… at least for a start. We know it will be a bit rough for a few nights, but we just have to keep reminding her (and ourselves) that she is a big girl and trust that she’ll start to forget she ever needed it in the first place.

Meanwhile, we have ourselves a little person that continues to learn and grow. As traumatic as something like this could potentially be, it’s good to know that she understands the basics of growing up. Which is to say, we have to leave things behind in order to move forward. And even though sometimes it can be painful, in the long run it’s what makes us wiser and appreciate the things we have and the things that are yet to be.

I’m not sure that last part was about her or a daddy seeing his little girl get just a bit older every single day. Either way, it’s exciting to think about what’s ahead. Let’s just not go too fast. I have to ease into it. That little girl is a hard habit to break.

Monkeying Around

When I was a kid, I liked to climb EVERYTHING. The trees in my neighborhood, fences, walls… 

If I could get a good hand hold and a good foot hold, I was gone. That’s probably why when I was Finley’s age, my parents had me strapped to a harness with a leash.

I really can’t blame them, actually. This past weekend, I got a glimpse at why it’s so important to keep your little monkey in check… especially when you’re out in public.

Momma was at the library studying most of the day, Sunday, so it was just me and the munchkin in our little condo. Normally, we would escape to the park up the street, but it had been snowing most of the day. And even though the snow wasn’t really sticking, it was just a bit too cold for an outdoor excursion.

What we needed was a nice, warm indoor place to get out and stretch. Momma and the girl had been out to the Bellevue Square mall, the week before, and I knew it had quite the kids’ area. So, I bundled the babe up and made a bee-line for Bellevue.

It wasn’t Christmas crowd-crazy, but it was busy enough. I decided to be a bit brave and not bring the stroller, because she’s a big girl, now. I also left the diaper bag in the car on purpose, which turned out to be a good call, since once I plopped her down in the middle of the mall, she shot off like a wind-up toy.

Since I wasn’t carrying anything, I was able to keep up with her. The good news was this is just what we needed… Lots and lots of space for her to run around with no walls to hold her back. The scary thing was that I could see how easy it would be to lose a little one, if you’re not concentrating on them.

She may only be 22 months old, but Finley is a fast one. And she just goes and goes without thinking about anything except how fast she can get to wherever it is she’s heading. I had to steer her away from oncoming traffic and a few doors, but for the most part she was running with the pedal down. Finally, I was able to get her up to the play area, which is where she really let loose.

I’ve seen her play on a few toys at school and she can get up and down the slides at the park fairly well, but in this play area, she showed me how agile she really is.

To set the scene, the play area is a great big soft foam carpet in the middle of a ring of benches, for the parents. The “toys” are actually foam sculptures covered in soft plastic, which seems to be the new ultra-safe way to make playgrounds. So much for the concrete and gravel we had growing up.

In this particular playground, the sculptures have a northwest waterfront theme and there are several boats, including a Washington State Ferry and lots of faux rocks and docks for the kids to climb all over and slide down. And every one of these things was covered with kids.

At first, I figured Finley would be shy, trying to work herself into a space on one of the toys. But I was wrong. As soon as she kicked off her shoes she was up and on top of the tallest toy – the Ferry – surveying the rest of the playground for where she’d go, next.

Of course I was not more than two feet away, waiting for her to make a misstep or if she needed help getting down. I shouldn’t have bothered. She was literally like a monkey using her hands and feet to get her up and on and over and down. I guess when you only weigh 25 pounds, it’s easy to do all this, but she impressed me with her agility.

There were a few moments when I thought I could probably sit down and watch her from one of the benches, but I wasn’t sure, so I became the hovering dad. Just in case. I was never needed, but it made me feel better to at least think I was the spotter for my little gymnast.

Once or twice, she got into a slightly precarious position and looked around for me. But once she caught my eye, she knew she didn’t want me to help, so she figured her way out of her predicament.

And when it was time to go, she didn’t cry or fuss; she just let me get her shoes back on, took my hand, and led me to the escalator.

On the way home, as she was singing along to the music in the car, I wondered how many times she’s going to get into situations where I can’t help her and she has to figure it out for herself. Too many to count, probably. I guess I can only hope she’ll at least be able to look around and know I’m there, just in case. I just have to learn not to be the hovering dad. Eventually, anyway.

Easy as 1, 2, 3

As we get closer and closer to Finley’s second birthday, Heather I keep discovering that our little princess is discovering new and unusual things to say and do. And since she spends so much time at daycare, we figure that’s the place she’s picking up all these sayings and quirks.

For instance, she has this thing (that she’s had for a while) about shoes. She loves her shoes. She wants to wear all of them, all of the time. So the other day she asks Momma if she can wear her boots. They are these long, fake-fur lined snow boots that she adores. As soon as she gets them on, she looks up and says, “Awesome!”

As funny as that was, I find it interesting that she was able to pick up a word like that and use it in context so quickly. It’s not like someone at daycare is saying “awesome” over and over again for every little thing. She definitely keyed in on it and figured out where to use it. Unless, of course, one of the teachers is saying “awesome” over and over again. Which actually wouldn’t surprise me.

It really is amazing how much her little brain is soaking up. But what really gets me is not only that she is watching and hearing and learning all of this stuff, she’s applying these things in her actions and words and for the most part, applying it all correctly.

Obviously, things like singing songs can help anyone remember their ABCs and learn words. But how did she figure out to that her baby doll needs to be wrapped in a blanket before she puts it down for a nap? How does she know to put the little toy dog in front of the play doggie bowl to eat? The obvious answer is she watched. But she’s been watching for a long time. It’s only recently that she’s turned it all into action.

So, being first-time parents, the next question is… is this really all that amazing? I’m guessing this is where her development should be at this point. We’re in this tough spot where everything new is a miracle and we’re convinced she’s the smartest kid on the planet. But then again, she’s not reading or doing math, but she is learning her numbers. She can count fairly well, but is that normal for two years old? I would expect so. We just don’t have anything or anyone to reference it against.

You can check out her counting, below.

We think that’s pretty cool. But is she ahead of the curve or right on schedule? And the most important question of all comes from all of that… Does it really even matter?

I don’t think being ahead or behind is the goal, here. I think the fact that she is learning and applying and his healthy and happy is all that matters. We’re not in a race. And the last thing I want her to think is that she has to try to be the smartest kid. I’ll settle for a pretty happy kid.

After all, she’s got plenty of time until she has to worry about grades. For now, she can just keep counting to her heart’s delight. And if that makes her happy, then I think that’s awesome!

 

P.S. Speaking of awesome… Below is the greatest sound you’ll ever hear. Save this for the next time you have a bad day. It’s Finley’s gift to you.

100

This is officially the 100^th entry into the Baby Blog. And to celebrate, I’ve decided to rack my brain and come up with 100 things I have learned about fatherhood. So here’s the list, in no particular order Enjoy! 

1. Talking into Heather’s belly during pregnancy was oddly comfortable.
   
2. Pregnancies are 10 months long, not nine like the liberal media will have you believe!
3. Any pain I have had in no way compares to labor pain.
4. Sleep deprivation makes new mamas CRAZY.
5. I’m so glad I don’t ever have to nurse.
6. I’m not a big fan of the flavor of formula.
7. Bouncy chairs, baby swings, and cradles are life savers.
8. It’s good to have infant gas drops available. At all times.
9. Keeping the diaper bag freshly stocked is a must.
10. When you visit the relatives, you’re just the guy that brought the baby.
11. Diapers work, especially if you remember to put them on.
12. Daycare is worth the price of admission.
13. …except for the sharing of colds.
14. I could get used to this “Father’s Day” thing.
15. I wish there was a way I could take the immunization shots for her.
16. Picking up from daycare is better than dropping off.
17. Finley likes to wake me up on the weekends. (I like it, too)
18. Kissing boo boos is better than putting on bandaids.
19. Cranky baby = cranky momma
20. Sleeping in is not an option.
    
21. I’m not the center of the universe, anymore.
22. Pigtails are momma’s job.
23. Picking out clothes is momma’s job.
24. Onsies go on BEFORE pants go on.
25. Mommy is always right.
26. Even at 5am, rocking my daughter to sleep in my arms is worth waking up for.
27. Poop happens.
28. Drool happens.
29. Spills happen.
30. Cleaning up poop and drool and spills happens.
31. Baby kisses are especially wet. But that’s okay.
32. I could be the fifth Wiggle.
33. All the books I loved as a kid are still great.
34. Kids toys are way better now than when I was a kid.
35. And they eat up WAY more batteries.
36. I don’t remember as many words to kids songs I as I thought I did.
37. Those kids songs can get stuck in your head all day.
38. I have learned the time-honored dad tradition of properly loading the car.
39. I have rediscovered the unlimited possibilities of playing with a cardboard box.
40. NEVER lose the bunny… or the blankie.
    
41. I could go pro as a baby bottle washer.
42. I never knew I had swaddling skills.
43. As much as I love my wife and daughter, alone time is very important.
44. As much as I love being alone, it’s hard to be away from my girls.
45. All the time I spent mimicking cartoon voices is paying off.
46. I may not know a second language, but I can speak toddler fairly well.
47. Watching a small person take their first steps was much more exciting than I expected.
48. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing the word “Daddy.”
49. There’s a lot more on TV for kids than there used to be.
50. Put the expensive or important stuff up high.
51. I tend to find more cheerios than change in the couch cushions.
52. Daddies make good horsies for daughters.
53. Baby wipes are good for parents, too.
54. It’s okay to stand in her room for ten minutes just to watch her sleep.
55. You can never have enough Kleenex.
56. Nap times are not just for the kids.
57. It’s smart to always have a binky ready.
58. The wheels on the bus DO go round and round.
59. There are volume controls on toys for a reason.
60. Bath bubbles are clear. All other bubbles mean it’s time to get out.
    
61. You’re doomed when they learn to say “again.”
62. Pillows STILL make great forts.
63. No matter how much I clean, the crumbs in the back seat of my car will keep appearing.
64. Kids are dirt magnets.
65. Sugar is kid crack.
66. It’s smart to invest in night-time diapers.
67. It’s all about negotiation.
68. Dancing is just plain fun. Rhythm comes later.
69. Being the first person she sees in the morning is the best.
70. Laundry baskets make great sleds.
71. Velcro is way better than shoelaces.
72. Chuck E. Cheese is evil. Pure evil.
73. “No” means No. Except sometimes when she starts crying and it means “Alright. Here. Stop crying.”
74. Music soothes the savage baby.
75. Do your best to go with the flow. And have extra wipes to soak up the flow, too.
76. Sesame Street is still a great show.
77. I know much more about the Disney Princesses than I probably should.
78. Sippy cups and kid plates go in the upper rack of the dishwasher.
79. I could kiss her cheeks all day.
80. Before you toss them in the air, make sure you know how high the ceiling is.
81. Right now, you’re just second fiddle to the momma.
82. Tea parties are in my future.
83. A good nap makes for a good rest of the day.
84. I am not that fond of the color pink.
85. I’m beginning to dislike boys.
86. Apparently songs can never be sung enough.
87. …and books can never be read enough.
88. She’ll never do the amazing things when you ask her to or when everyone is watching.
89. …or when the video camera is rolling.
90. I haven’t lost as much hair as I thought I would.
91. Tights go on BEFORE the bloomers.
92. Don’t take anything away unless you have plans to replace it.
93. Babysitters are worth the money. Even at $10 an hour!
94. Elmo isn’t as annoying as he used to be.
95. I’m much better at coloring within the lines than she is.
96. I like coming home and finding her waiting for me.
97. Putting her shoes on while she’s wriggling in my arms is an art.
98. A hidden TV remote is a safe TV remote.
99. I’m lucky Heather is here to teach me these things.
100. There’s nothing better than the sound of Finley’s laughter.

Happy Two Year!

In just two short months, that little baby daughter of mine is going to be two. Two! As much as her momma likes to deny it, Finley is no longer a baby… she’s a full-fledged toddler.

That means we’re in for a whole lot of things. First of all, as her grasp of language improves, so will her grasp of sass. And if she’s anything like her mother, we’re in for some good times.
Also, right around the bend are a couple of really big hurdles we have to approach and slowly climb over, together. There’s her binky habit and the lessons of the loo. AKA Potty Training.
Getting rid of the pacifier should be interesting. There’s no binky patch or gum we can give her and cold turkey isn’t going to work, either. She really does okay without it… mainly because it’s out of sight and out of mind for the most part.

We only give it to her when she’s about to go down for a nap or for the night. And the occasional long car trip. And once she wakes up from sleeping, she’s really good at handing it off. But we can only wonder what it’s like at daycare. We’ve asked them to only give it to her for nap time. But when you have a room full of toddlers and some chain reaction fussing kicks in, I wouldn’t blame them if the binkies get handed out like candy.
So, in 2009 we’re going to try to wean her of the pacifier. I’m sure there are several theories on how to work this. I’ve heard stories about “losing” the binky and not being able to find it. There are folks who tell the kid they gave it to a family friend’s baby. For now, I’d like to basically continue to keep it out of sight. When she goes down for a nap I don’t want to just give it to her. I want her to remember it on her own and ask for it. My idea is that as time goes by, she’ll eventually forget to ask for it. It’s only a theory, I know. But I want HER to be the one to decide she’s done with it. We’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Our other big goal is to work on getting her out of diapers and onto the potty. I’m not exactly sure how this is going to work, but the rumor is that girls are better at this than boys. I think that’s because it’s much more confusing for boys, since they’re taught to stand AND sit rather than just sit the whole time. Plus, the whole aiming thing just doesn’t work with a 2-year old boy. The good thing is that she is already curious about the potty and what goes on, there. We got a little Elmo seat that sits on top of the toilet and let’s her feel like a big girl without allowing her to drop in. She asks to sit on it once or twice a week, but she never does anything while she’s there, except look excited.
And although nothing happens, it’s good to see she’s interested and becoming comfortable with the seat. Now it’s just a matter of putting the pieces together of WHY we sit there and WHEN. No sweat, right? We’ll keep you posted on that one, too.

It’s weird and a little sad to think that we’re about to go through all of this with our little girl. It wasn’t THAT long ago I was feeding her in my lap. Then again, it’s pretty exciting to see how much she’s grown and watch her discover things. And it’s also exciting to think about all the other things we get to teach her in this New Year. Sentences, names, numbers and maybe a somersault or two. I think I can live with her being two. It’s three, then four, then eighteen that I don’t like so much. I’ll keep you posted on how I deal with that.

Xmas Wrapup

So, as I was contemplating what to write about Finley's second Christmas, I realized there were far too many pictures to post than stories to tell. I can say this... Finley LOVES the kitchen set we got her. Nothing like forcing domestic roles on a toddler. But that's another rant.

Anyway, I've decided to go with Heather's suggestion and just post a whole bunch of pictures and keep the blabber to a minimum. So here's Xmas '08. Enjoy!

Daddy's sled invention gets another go in Oak Harbor.

Building gingerbread houses with cousins Braeden and Halle.

Christmas Eve with the cousins.

Nana reads "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" on the night before Christmas.

The new kitchen set. She didn't care about any other presents... She was too busy cooking.

But she will take a moment to pose with her new faux leopard coat in front of her new kitchen set. What's a diva to do?

New outfit. Snowman chair. Same new kitchen set.

Dress-up Christmas with Daddy's family. Can you guess what the theme is?

With cousin and fellow pirate, Jordan

A pirate in heels? Pushing her new stroller.

Slip, Sliding Away

As you probably already know, this past week Washington was hit with a decent-sized snowstorm. 

Despite what the news agencies were reporting, it wasn’t quite the end of the world, although it did slow down the normal flow of life in our neck of the woods.

The problem is twofold; we just don’t get enough snow to truly be prepared for heavy dumps and there are a heck of a lot of hills up here. It’s not like getting snow in the Midwest. Once you start sliding, you’ll be going for a while.

This helps to explain why even the mere mention of snow can pack the grocery stores and shut down schools. Which means the Wednesday before winter break, all the kids got a snow day and the ground was bare. Then the first snow hit. Not too much, but enough to make the Thursday commute a little slower than normal.

And that seemed to be the end of it. Until the news started warning us of an actual storm. This time the hype wasn’t too far off. It started Saturday evening with a little flurry that turned into actual flakes of actual snow. And it just kept falling.

By the time Sunday morning arrived, we were waking in a winter wonderland. And being the smart people we are, we kept the car where it was. Any traveling would be on foot. So we strapped on the boots, donned our hats and made our way up to the store. I put together the jogging stroller and mushed my way up the hill. Not a big hill, but big enough when you’re plowing through powder. The way back was much easier. And then we ran into our biggest dilemma of the day.

When the snow falls like this, you can be sure a few things will suddenly go out of stock… 3-hour logs, generators and sleds. And when you have a toddler, guess which one is most important on the whitest day of the year? So, I had to put my daddy brains to work and come up with a sledding solution.

If you remember a few months ago, I wrote about how Finley is just as happy playing with a laundry basket as she is playing with a new toy. The laundry basket. She likes to sit in it. It’s got sides. It’s plastic. Made sense to me. I just needed a test pilot brave enough and small enough to fit inside my creation.

One piece of rope later, I’m pulling my daughter through our parking lot and she’s chanting her new favorite word, “again.”

As much as I’m glad Finley understands what it means, it’s one of those words that instantly become more trouble than it is worth. Because the child will not want to stop saying it. Ever. And if you try to move on to a new activity, it had better be more fun than the current thing or the waterworks will flow.

So, I’m whipping her around the parking lot to a chorus of “again, again” when I decide to take a bit of a break. This doesn’t sit well with the munchkin. Before I know it, she’s literally screaming “AGAIN!!” What’s a dad to do?

Needless to say, I got quite the workout and Finley’s first real sledding experience was a hit. And the best part was later that evening, right before she went to bed. She went over to the basket (that was back as its old job as a toy box), emptied it out and pushed it to the door. 

It looks like Dad’s creation turns out to be the hottest toy of the season. We’ll see what the future holds, but I’m pretty sure there are some more inventions in my noggin ready to be tried out by the cutest test pilot around.