My Girl Wants to Potty All the Time

As many of you parents know,

incentives are a good way to get a kid to follow through with a task. An old fashioned reward system can do wonders to help get a chore done or a vegetable eaten. Toilet training is no exception.

At our house, it’s all about the big prize. In this case, it’s a bike (or a trike in her case, but she likes to call it a bike). We’ve set up a system so that whenever Finley can successfully go to the potty, she gets a sticker. And once her special little chart is full of stickers, she can get a bike. Pretty straight forward and easy for her to grasp. In fact, it’s working like a charm… well, sort of.

Of course with all great plans there are a few minor glitches, we didn’t seem to count on. The good news is that she is doing a great job of letting us know when she has to pee and is getting to the potty on time and doing her thing. She gets very excited when she goes and is very helpful with the disposal and clean up.

On the other hand, it seems like she’s more intent on the stickers than she is about accomplishing the peeing. Just this evening, she went pee three times in a two-hour span. It’s good that she lets us know, but racking up five to seven stickers in a day is not really the lesson we’re trying to teach, here.

And there are the times she wants to get a sticker so badly that she thinks she can go pee and ends up sitting on the pot for five to ten minutes with no results. She’s also been known to try and sneak a second sticker from the sticker sheet when she’s collecting her reward.

Sure, it’s good to have her be excited, but it needs to be about what she’s done, not what she’s going to get. The problem is, I’m not sure a two-year old will comprehend the educational value as opposed to the prize value.

The conversation, I imagine, would go something like this:

Daddy
“Finley, it’s nice that you really want the bike, but you need to work on going pee-pee and poopy all the time.”

Finley

“I need a pink bike.”

Daddy

“Yes, I know. But, let’s try to see if we can go pee-pee and poopy like a big girl.”

Finley

“Or a blue bike.”

The ultimate goal – as with any sort of toilet training – is to get her to understand the importance of going on her own. And even though we are burning through stickers, she’s getting into the good habit we’re trying to teach. We’re just going to have to work on a transition from ultimate prize gathering to pride in personal accomplishment. Especially after the bike arrives. Either that, or we’ll need to get a bigger chart.

Play Ball

It turns out that sometimes… just sometimes, I can be right. There are rare occasions when I have an idea or a plan that actually works out to be correct and or/true. Case in point: I have had this thing about taking Finley to the ballpark since day one. I’m of the camp that kids that can’t sit in their seat and watch a ballgame, probably shouldn’t go.
My thinking is that if I’m going to spend the money for seats, I’m not going to chase her around the ballpark or go to some in-stadium playground. Plus, there are a few other things to consider. Like foul balls, other fans, and to worry about. Which is why, the best place to introduce Finley to baseball is at a minor league park.
Things are a little more laid back when you’re away from “the show.” The fans aren’t as intense, the stadium is a bit smaller, and they really cater to kids. So, with Heather’s relatives in town for a visit, we packed up the fam and headed to Everett Memorial Stadium, the home of the AquaSox.
The AquaSox are the Single-A farm club of the Mariners and when I wasn’t teaching Finley how to say “Batta, batta batta… SA-WING batta!” or “Pitcher has a rubber arm!” I was chasing her around the grass field behind the stadium or helping her into the bouncy house near the concessions stands. She cheered and clapped for a home run or the occasional good play and even got to run around the bases after the game.

But the highlight of the day for the Finster was not anything on the field it was the bright green mascot of the AquaSox, Webbly. At first, she was mildly intrigued. And when he first passed by us, she was frightened. But somewhere, as she watched him more and more, she became obsessed. First she just wanted to see him and was constantly asking where he was. Then she wanted to give him a high five. Then she wanted to give him a hug. Of course, every time we took her to him, she’d freeze up and get scared. But that didn’t stop her fascination. Even when we got home, she kept asking where the froggy was.
But the point is that all of this chasing of the frog, the climbing over the seats, the yelling, and the all-around being a two-year old wouldn’t have flown at Safeco Field. So, save this blog. Keep it in your bookmarks. Daddy was right. It won’t be too much longer before we take her to Safeco. I’ll explain how the great game is played, what to watch for, and eventually how to keep score. Until then, we might have to go see a few more minor league games… and let her chase frogs.

Cruise Control

It’s interesting how the definition of “vacation” changes after you have a kid. We just got back from an Alaskan cruise and I’m not sure I was really away. Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. We DID get on a big boat and we DID float to Alaska on it. And we WERE gone for a week.
It turns out that a cruise vacation with a two-year old consists more of following and re-directing a rambling toddler around, on, and through decks of a floating hotel. The bonus being that they are so excited from everything the boat has to offer, that they (or she, in this example) like to get up a bit earlier than they do at home. Like 5:00 and 6:00am. On the bright side, early mornings are a great time to explore a cruise ship.
Actually, it wasn’t all that bad. We were fortunate enough to have my family on the cruise and everyone pitched in on entertaining and being entertained by Finley. My brother had the brilliant idea of having a gift bag waiting for Finley in his stateroom… every day. “I need to go to Uncle Dan’s room,” became her favorite phrase.
And we may have been on Norwegian Cruise Lines, but we may as well have been on “Princess” cruises, with the way she was treated by the staff. It seems like everyone knew her name… from the room stewards, to the wait staff – everywhere she went – she was treated like royalty.
All in all, it was a great trip. We got to see some amazing scenery and enjoy some beautiful weather. It may not have been as relaxing as we wanted it to be, but Finley got to spend some quality time with family – some of whom she doesn’t get to see too often. I’m guessing that this will be the way things go until she’s fairly self-sufficient or even not until she’s out of the house. I can imagine we’ll have to cater to her and put ourselves second for vacations to come. But then again, that’s what we’re doing even when it’s not vacation!
If we learned anything, it’s that the more family we can have with us, the better chance we have to get free babysitting and sneak away. Even if it’s for a few hours, it’s vacation.

Exclusive Interview

As I mentioned last week, the girls were out of town visiting Heather’s family in Pennsylvania. So, since it was a pretty quiet week, there wasn’t much for me to write about. Then I had an idea. I figured it was time to sit down and get that coveted first one-on-one interview with my little diva. I was able to record and upload our conversation in the file below, but I also transcribed it for you lazy folks. I think you’ll get some insight into the complex world of Finderella.

Daddy Poppa

What is your name?

Finley Ella

Finley.

DP

How old are you?

FE

Two.

DP

What is your favorite color?

FE

Orange.

DP

You like orange? Why do you like orange?

FE

(mumbles)

DP

You don’t know? What is your dolly’s name?

FE

Baby Ellie!

DP

Who is your favorite princess?

FE

Ariel!

DP

When we go to the park, what do you like to do?

FE

Feed duckies.

DP

Feed the duckies?

FE

Yeah.

DP
What is your favorite food? What do you like to eat?

FE

Noodles!

DP

What is your favorite toy? Do you have a favorite toy, right now?

FE
(mumbles – sounds like “pancakes.”)

DP

What?

FE

(pa-cay)

DP
Pancakes?

FE

No. Pancakes are to eat.

DP

Oh. Pancakes are to eat. What’s your favorite… What do you like to play with?

FE

Toys.

DP

What kind of toys?

FE

A ball!

DP

A ball is your favorite?

FE

Yeah.

DP

What is your daddy’s name?

FE

Momma.

DP

No, what’s Daddy’s name?

FE

Daddy Poppa.

DP

And what’s Momma’s name?

FE

Momma Mia.

DP

That’s right. And, did you just go on a trip?

FE

Yeah.

DP

What did you ride on?

FE

A airplane.

DP

On an airplane. What’s your favorite TV show? What do you like to watch on TV?

FE

Ariel.

DP

What is your favorite book?

FE

Poky.

DP

Poky?

FE

The Poky Little Puppy.

DP

Do you like to wear shoes or sandals?

FE

Shoes or sandals.

DP

Do you like shoes or flip flops, better?

FE

Ariel flip flops.

DP

You do flip flops?

FE

I have Ariel flip flops.

DP

Oh, you have Ariel flip flops. That makes sense. What color is your favorite Popsicle?

FE

Orange.

DP
Orange? You like orange, huh? Where are we going to go this weekend?

FE
Daddy on a airplane!

DP

No. We’re not going to go on an airplane. What are we going to go on?

FE

A special airplane… A big boat.

DP

Right. Do you know where we’re going?

FE

We going… Mommy and Daddy on the boat and Uncle Dan…

DP

And who else?

FE

And strawberries.

All Quiet

It’s funny just how loud Finley is.

I’m not necessarily talking about volume. Although a lack of volume control is something she inherited from her mother’s side of the family. I think when I mean loud I mean it as a constant hum. Kind of like when you’re on an airplane. There’s the sound of the engines, and after a while you get used to it. And if you’re like me, when you land, things seem a bit louder after all that buzzing in your ears. Maybe things aren’t louder, they are just a bit clearer.

At any rate, Finley – like all kids her age, I’m sure – is non-stop. I’m not saying it as a bad thing… I actually like the fact that she can consciously fill in the quiet gaps of her life with songs or words or something to keep her from getting bored. AND, it’s a great way to keep tabs on her. If it’s been quiet for a short time, she’s either fallen asleep or into something.

But just like anything, you don’t really notice all of this until it’s all gone. You see, Heather and Finley left Saturday for a week-long visit with Heather’s grandparents and cousins in Pennsylvania. And I have to tell you… The silence is deafening.

As much as I enjoy the private time and the quiet, I guess I’ve gotten used to the sounds those girls make. There’s no little patter of feet as they run from room to room getting this or playing with that. There’s no call to one of us for a Popsicle or to come play on the bed. There’s certainly no crying or scolding. But most of all, there’s no laughing.

And as I think about it, all of those noises are what make up the feeling of home. It’s the sound of family. Without it – without them – the place is so empty.

Even at bedtime, I find it hard to sleep properly. As a parent, there’s always that part of your brain that is actively listening for the slightest cry, cough, or call from the little one down the hall. I’m sure I’ll be fine, but it’s much harder to turn off that part of your mind than I thought.

And the mornings certainly aren’t as nice. There’s no little person climbing onto the bed and yelling at me to wake up. I have to rely on a more archaic, less loving alarm, these days. There’s no one to kiss me bye as I leave for work and no one waiting for me when I get home.

All those things – as little as they seem on a daily basis – start to pile up as missing when you’re all alone. I know it’s only been a couple of days since they left and as the days go by, I’ll get a little more used to them being gone. But I’m glad it’s only for the week.

When the week is up, I’ll be the one waiting for them to come home with kisses and hugs and I guess I’ll have to get used to all that noise, again. It’s a tough life, but I think I’ll get by. As long as the home is filled with the sound of family, things will be just fine.

Independence

The past few weeks have been pretty good for a small girl named Finley.

We spent a few days at Lake Chelan, where she discovered the fun of boating and became a more confident swimmer. She got to play with her Nana and auntie and cousins and loved every bit of it.

Then the following weekend, we took a trip to “The Great Wolf Lodge.” This is a giant hotel, with an even more giant indoor water park, complete with restaurants, shopping, and even a Starbucks for Momma. It’s a pretty great setup and we spent most of our wet time in the toddler play area, watching Finley enjoy and adapt to the toys and apparatus.

She’s always been a fairly brave kid. I mentioned, some time ago, about my desire to have her be my eventual rollercoaster partner, since Heather won’t have any part of it. So, extra time on swings and tosses in the air at home have been a staple of her play routine as early as I could get away with it. But, there are certain situations – especially with people around – where Finley tends to get a bit shy before she tries out something new or tricky.

So when it was time to get her to climb up the stairs to the little toddler water slide, she was a bit apprehensive and one of us had to help her up and really talk her into zipping down and splashing into the foot of water below. But – as with anything – the more she got used to it, the easier it was for her to do it on her own.

In fact, she got to the point where she was very vocal about how she didn’t want us to help her do any of it. This is something we’ve been noticing for a little while. When she wants to do something by herself, Finley is fiercely independent. Unfortunately, in some situations, she’s not as agile or dexterous as she thinks she is and her moment of independence becomes very frustrating.

Now it’s pretty normal for a two year old to get a little frustrated when she can’t quite get a shoe on or get a toy to work the way she wants it. What’s hard for us is that she won’t even let us help her when she gets in these situations. It’s almost like our offer to help makes her even more upset.

The key in these situations is to try to distract her with another activity or else you’ll be battling a writhing, screaming beast when you try to get that shoe on the correct way. Needless to say, she’s a very stubborn little girl. We won’t say who she gets it from.

Lately, we’ve been noticing that it’s not just the basic things she’s becoming picky or independent about. Even the usual routine is beginning to change. And the Daddy is getting the shaft.

You see, she has become such a Momma’s girl that she rarely wants me to do anything with her or for her. Changing a pull-up, “No. Momma do it.” Reading books at nighttime, “No. Momma do it.” Now that I think about it, maybe Momma is getting the raw deal. I mean, she doesn’t want me to change her pants, feed her, or even put her to bed. Momma gets to do all of it. Of course, being the stubborn one, Heather won’t let that go on too long. But for now, I’m only needed when Momma won’t let her have something. Apparently she thinks I’m the one who will help her out. Unfortunately for her, I’m on the Momma’s side and am just here to reinforce the law Heather has laid down.

The scary thing is that this is probably just the beginning. It stars with wanting to put on her own shoes and will eventually become taking the car by herself and going on a trip with friends. We can’t say “no” to everything. But we can be stubborn, in a loving way.

I’m all for doing things on your own, but to her dismay, she’ll find out that we love her so much, we want her to be safe. And the tears will flow and the doors will slam. And it will be very hard to have her mad at me. I’ll get over it. Because I’d rather her be mad at me than in some sort of trouble or seriously hurt.

But until then, I’ll offer my help even though she doesn’t want it. And I’ll probably never stop offering. Okay, so maybe I am a bit stubborn.

Lake Chelan 2009

Back from vacation on Lake Chelan in central Washington. We had a great time and I'll post some photos, below. We're off to the "Great Wolf Lodge" NEXT week, so my blog will be late, yet again. More pictures and such from that trip, when we get back. Hope all is well with everyone.